So far between actual roommates, their partners who decide to move in unannounced, and their friends who colonized the living room, I’ve had just shy of 20. The last one scammed me out of at least $4500.

The story begins in Pittsburgh. I wrapped up one life as a full-time student, and was starting a new one as a freshly minted Senior Analyst at the big bank. Despite the new job, I didn’t want to pay the premium of living alone. I’d also had roommates my whole life, what was another couple of years if it meant I could save some money? So I signed a lease for the top two floors of a duplex right on the edge of Bloomfield and Shadyside with one of my closest friends from undergrad, and a childhood friend I’d known since before we were teenagers. We had some ups and downs, but overall, we made it work.

A year later, and my friend from childhood decided he was going to move across country to pursue (and eventually accomplish) a PhD. Remaining roommate and I had moved every year we were at Pitt, so we decided to renew the lease anyways. He was starting a Masters at Carnegie Mellon, so he had just enough to cover his portion of the rent. But luckily, I was getting promoted to Lead Developer soon and was receiving a significant raise, so I figured I’d eat the cost of no third roommate till we found a sublet. In the meanwhile, we’d have a guest room.

Fast forward a month or two and my cousin made a trip to Pittsburgh. He was going to North Shore to hang out with a friend he had in the city who also went to Pitt. Turned out it was someone we mutually knew.

We’ll call mutual friend Troy. I first met him a couple years ago when I was a freshman checking out the information session for the raas team, he was an upperclassman studying Philosophy who was very active in the desi dance scene. I never made it past tryouts, but I served on the SASA board and was a SigRho boy through my four years at Pitt, so we crossed paths semi regularly.

So anyways, my cousin was visiting Pittsburgh, and we met up with Troy in North Shore. We ended up walking to the Mexican War Streets, and along the way, my cousin asked him what he’d been up to and where he was working. He said that he was still very involved with the Desi Dance Network, and he’d been working as a private tutor for high school debate. So he was constantly traveling around the country to judge or coach in competitions. Kinda odd profession, but my father is both a PhD who designs semiconductors and performs the duties of a Hindu priest, so I’ve definitely seen weirder. On the surface it made sense, some private school kid’s parents pay a lot for extracurriculars. Though probably a red flag that was closer to 30 than he was 20, and was still involved in undergraduate student organizations. Though I probably had blinders on at the time, I had a brief stint serving as the Regional Governor of PA for SigRho after graduating, so being an active alumni wasn’t super out of the ordinary.

I remembered that he was living near campus with someone I knew, so I asked what his roommate was up to. He answered that he wasn’t living there anymore and was looking for a new place.

Enter my stupidity.

Mistake number one, not asking enough follow up questions. Instead, I said, we’re looking for a sublet till the lease is up, the rent is x dollars a month. He said that works for me.

Fast forward a week or two, we had the paperwork signed with the landlord, and he was moved in.

Looking back at my emails and V*&mo history, he moved in over the summer. He didn’t pay the 1st month’s rent, he said he was waiting on his client to pay him. But he paid the 2nd month’s rent and bills on time. The 3rd month, he was both on time and paid back the missing charges from the 1st month. And then the 4th month I had rent paid on time. Nothing immediately triggering an alarm. Then on the 5th month, I got an email that his phone broke and his client hadn’t paid him, so he was currently stranded. I don’t see a request on my end or a payment on his end for that month or the 6th. On the 7th, I have the first unpaid rent and bills charges on V^%mo, at the end of the month though I got a payment on P^&P#@ for the amount that rent usually is. Then from months 8 through 11, there was a rising stack of unpaid bills and rent.

Honestly, that email should’ve set off some alarm bells. I get that emergencies happen, but I should’ve started tracking just how frequently they did. Because there was a pattern. He’d only be home every couple weeks, and then immediately leave. A lot of the time, you could hardly tell he was there, the only tell was we shared the upstairs washroom, so I knew when someone else used it. And there’d be a burrito bowl from Ch!%&*le in the trash.

Every once in a while though, I would run into him at home. I’d ask about rent, and he would have a story about how his client hadn’t paid him or a family emergency. For all I know, all of that could be true, that doesn’t change the fact that there’s a growing pile of unpaid rent and bills. You’d think someone would either find work that had a more consistent pay schedule than private debate tutor and dance competition judge, or at the very least move out. But common decency ain’t that common.

How’d it end? It’s the last month of the lease. My roommate was going to study abroad in the Netherlands for the summer and fall, and I was moving down the street to my friend’s soon to be old place. We were not sure what to do with Troy’s stuff. One day, he showed up with a truck, and asked for help getting his furniture out. My brain was so fried from trying to make sense on why I kept letting unpaid bills and rent accumulate without kicking him out, that it leaped at him moving out on his own. So my dumbass helped him move to speed it up. Afterwards, I realized he left a heap of books, kitchenware, leftover merch from dance competitions, and a dhol. At that point, it was kinda a blur. I was already mostly moved into my new place down the street, so I cleaned up the stairs, moved everything leftover into the living room. Then grabbed the rest of the things and moved out, leaving my poor roommate to deal with figuring out what to do with all the leftovers.

Out of the 11 months his stuff was there, he only paid for 4.5 (half because of the random payment on P!@P%^).

This happened sometime between graduation and the pandemic. According to L!@#$%In, he found a tech job over the pandemic. All the requests on V!@mo are still active, so I sent a message congratulating him on the career pivot, and asked if he could pay me back.

As usual, crickets. Ohh well, lesson learned. Turns out common sense isn’t that common either. If younger me had some, he would’ve told Troy that he had two weeks to either pay his missing rent and bills, or move out. If not, he’s welcome to come pick up his stuff from the garage behind the house.

Silver lining, I did end up with Steel City’s old dhol, didn’t really need it because I already had my own that I rarely used, but I guess having two’s nice. Not losing at least four and a half stacks would’ve been nicer.